Grief, we have all experienced it and by the age of 50 and beyond we have likely experienced a lot of it. Grief is a universal experience, but in older adults it is a cumulative effect. It comes in many forms: the loss of parents, children, friends, health and jobs. Each loss is unique, but when they start to stack up, the burden can feel overwhelming
The loss of parents is a devastating and life changing experience. I remember the moment I realized that I was now the oldest person in my small family. It was a bizarre moment for me that now I am the old one and the matriarch, yet I still feel like I was navigating life myself.
Losing a child, though, is something you can never prepare for as a parent. You hope to be the first one to go. I had been through the loss of my father at 13, grandmother at 21, mother at 26, my younger sister and then my youngest brother. Each loss was hard, but nothing could compare to losing my son. While I feel at peace knowing he is no longer in pain, I still cry when I talk about him. We had a strong bond, and his memory continues to make me smile when I think of our inside jokes.
At this stage of life many of us do not have a spouse to share the grief, maybe no close friends. Perhaps you have had a major life transition, children have left, retirement, loss of independence or change in living situation. These can all add layers to grief. Cumulative loss can feel like sorrow is a constant companion and you have forgotten how to feel anything but sorrow.
There are ways to lighten the burden of grief. What has worked for me is I rely heavily on my faith and draw joy from my grandchildren. Sharing your story with others can help, whether with a friend, a group or through journaling. There are local grief groups in mostly all communities, in person and online. I will provide the links below. I am not a group person so for me I like a lot of solitude. Journaling and writing are outlets that I use. Exercise, even something as simple as a walk, can boost your serotonin and lighten your mood.
Grief may never fully disappear, but you can learn to live alongside it. The journey is your own, and how you cope is personal, but with time and the right support, it is possible to feel joy again. Please feel free to share your story, or ideas, any topics you would like to see covered. All input is welcome.
I have included some Bible verses that can offer you comfort and hope:
1. Matthew 5:4
• “Blessed are those who mourn, for they will be comforted.”
• This verse reassures us that God is with us in our mourning and offers His comfort during times of sorrow.
2. Psalm 34:18
• “The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit.”
• A reminder that God is near when we are hurting, providing strength and comfort to the brokenhearted.
3. Revelation 21:4
• “He will wipe every tear from their eyes. There will be no more death or mourning or crying or pain, for the old order of things has passed away.”
• This verse offers hope for the future, assuring us that pain and suffering will not last forever.
4. Psalm 147:3
• “He heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds.”
• A promise that God is a healer, mending our emotional and spiritual wounds over time.
5. John 16:22
• “So with you: Now is your time of grief, but I will see you again and you will rejoice, and no one will take away your joy.”
• Jesus acknowledges that grief is part of life but also reminds us of the promise of joy and reunion.
6. Isaiah 41:10
• “So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.”
• This verse is a powerful reminder that we are never alone in our struggles—God’s strength is always available to us.
7. 1 Thessalonians 4:13-14
• “Brothers and sisters, we do not want you to be uninformed about those who sleep in death, so that you do not grieve like the rest of mankind, who have no hope. For we believe that Jesus died and rose again and so we believe that God will bring with Jesus those who have fallen asleep in him.”
• This passage offers hope and comfort, reminding believers that death is not the end and that we will be reunited with our loved ones in Christ.
I have included a link to thriftbooks.com as it is a place to get books cheaper.
10 Healing Grief Activities That Can Help You Deal With Loss | LoveToKnow
The Grief Recovery Handbook: The Action… book by John W. James (thriftbooks.com)
15 Books on Grief Recommended by Therapists | Grief Books (rd.com)
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